Hello People of Our Glorious People’s Internet

Hello, people of our glorious People’s Internet.

It is a wonderful cyber day today.  Now that SOPA and PIPA have rescued us from anarchy, the People’s Internet is a wonderful place again.  We are no longer barbarians.  The tyranny of free expression is no more.  It is a glorious day to be a web-goer!

Today, I woke up, turned on my computer, and was greeted with a wonderful motivational message from the people.  It said: “The People’s Internet is Great.” In assent, I looked at my framed portrait of Lamar Smith and exclaimed “The People’s Internet is Great,” making sure everyone could hear and nobody could accuse me of lack of enthusiasm and get me sent to a blogging work camp in North Dakota.

Afterwards I went to the town Bandwidth center and stood on a bandwidth line for 37 hours to receive my bandwidth ration that the people were ever so gracious to provide me with.  I praised the people and went home to begin fulfilling my daily blog quota.  Before that, however, I went on the People’s Facebook to share my love for the People’s Internet with all of my assigned friends.  I am a proud member of Friend Commune #77013-A.  We work together and socialize and talk about how great the People’s Internet is.

I posted a status on the People’s Facebook saying “I am having a great day on the glorious People’s Internet.”  Within 5 minutes, it had 32,754 People’s Likes.  I checked it against my assigned friends’ list.  To my horror, I discovered that 3 of my friends failed to like my People’s Facebook status.  As a proud web-goer, I could not simply let these enemies of the people get away with such an offense.  Thus, I did my people’s duty and reported the suspects.  They are now in a rehabilitation center in North Dakota where I heard from my appointed People’s Representative that they are doing much better.

After ordering a cup of the People’s Coffee from the People’s Ebay, which is set to arrive in 6-8 weeks, I set out to complete my daily 400-word blogging quota.  I logged onto my allocated blog space and began to write.  Fortunately, the People’s Internet has provided me with so many good, healthy, approved topics to write about such as how much I love the People’s Internet.

Now I am getting ready to go to evening services, where we will pray to the glorious People’s Savior, Lamar Smith, founder of SOPA.  I will be looking forward to seeing all of my friends tomorrow and hopefully, assuming I have served my duty to the people to the people’s satisfaction, I will be here and not in North Dakota.

~YS